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Happy Karaoke New Year

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

I’m an introvert. I hate crowded places. I can’t stand unwanted attention.

All of these things were true of myself at the beginning of 2008. I stayed mostly to myself. My idea of going out was to go to the local Mexican restaurant to have a few margaritas and to practice my Spanish.

And then I was introduced to karaoke. My friend Jay talked me into going to a local karaoke bar. I was just there to watch, but I longed to get on stage and at least try. He got on stage with me for the first song to get me over the fear, but after that I was addicted.

I’m not a great singer. There’s nothing special about my performance on stage. But there’s something about singing a song you love in front of a room full of strangers.

Eventually I got up the nerve to talk to others in the bar. An easy conversation starter was to ask what others were singing. I grew more confident. And soon I stopped caring what others thought. It was about me and the good time I was having.

The first few weeks of December, I was in Olathe, Kansas for work. My evenings were free. I told one of my co-workers, “I’m going to try to find a local karaoke bar.”

“Good luck.” he said, “I haven’t heard of any around here.”

After about an hour on Google, I found one: The Double Nickel Bar and Grille.

I was there a little before karaoke started, and I put in my song. Then the KJ called me up, “Ronald, to the stage!”

I made a comment to the KJ, “First? You never told me I was going to go first.”

And she replied, “Someone’s gotta go first. It might as well be you.”

Did the crowd go wild? No. Did females flock to my presence? No. But I went up there and did the best I could when no one else would. It was the first time I sang karaoke in a foreign city with no moral support from friends. And I had a lot of fun after I got over my initial fears.

Fast forward to this past week when I spent New Years with my family in Austin, Texas. My dad asked me, “What do you want to do?” I responded, “I want to find a good karaoke bar.”

My dad (and brother) were shocked. It wasn’t the same Ronald they knew who would never ever dare sing in public.

It was hard finding a good karaoke bar near Round Rock, Texas, but eventually a waitress from the Tilted Kilt led us in the right direction.

“Try Homer’s! It’s a hole in the wall, but the karaoke is awesome.”

So to Homer’s Bar and Grille we went.

To my dad, I was still the same introverted kid who couldn’t look a person in the eye. “I can’t believe you sing karaoke.” he said.

But after my first song, he said, “I’m pretty impressed. You did a good job. What else do you sing?”

After we went home, he kept playing me songs on iTunes that he thought I should try at karaoke. My dad was as hooked as I was.

So I spent my New Year’s Eve in a karaoke bar. And I had a blast.

So happy karaoke New Year to you all. We’ll see what 2009 brings. Who knows, I may get over my fear of public speaking

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The Tip From Hell

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

I was at the local Monaco Pictures watching a movie. Afterwards, I asked my lady friend if she would like to get a drink at their bar.

“Sure.” she said.

We proceeded to have a few drinks and some rather bland quesadillas.

As closing time approached for the bar, the waitress handed us our bill.

My lady friend covered her eyes, “Don’t worry, I won’t look at the total.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled. “I actually want you to help me decide on a tip amount.”

She grabbed the receipt from my hand and suggested an amount.

“Too low…” I replied.

She sighed, and I explained, “My roommate’s a waiter. He’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Why don’t you make it an even $45?” she suggested.

I did the math in my head and covered my mouth trying to contain my shock and laughter.

After we got up to leave the restaurant, I approached our waitress, “Try not to take your tip too personal. It just worked out that way.”

The waitress smiled as we both walked out of the theater.

The amount? A solid and crisp $6.66.

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I’m Sick of Sarah

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

I have a love hate relationship with the name Sarah. One of my favorite artists is Sarah McLachlan. My ex-wife’s name is Sarah. And then our new (potential) vice president is Sarah Palin.

When I came across a band named Sick of Sarah, it had my immediate attention.

The band (a girl band) is a nice mix of hard rock, emo, and punk. Here are some YouTube videos of two of my favorites from their recent album (also called Sick of Sarah).

Breakdown - A nice hard-rock ballad with some punk flavoring (this video is a cover)

Common Mistake - A nice acoustic intro, with a very catchy chorus (this version differs from the more polished album version)

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Some Weird Pictures - Errors and a Clever Advertisement

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

I’ve been meaning to post these for a while, but I digress. Here are some pictures I took with my iPhone that humored me for at least 0.3 nanoseconds.

Huntsville Airport Error Message

Syracuse Airport Bathroom Message

The Boarder Problem - Taken at Bisons, Madison, AL

Got Soap - Taken at La Placita, Madison, AL

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Trip to Gananoque, Canada

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

On my recent trip to Syracuse, New York, I decided I wanted to step on foreign soil for the first time in 17 years.

My trip took me up to Watertown, NY, which was about forty miles from Canada.

As I took Interstate 81 north into Canada, I noticed less and less New York plates and more Ontario plates.

As I paid my toll for the 1000 Islands International Bridge, I grew anxious. The border was very close.

I was only two cars deep when I approached the border agent. The car in front of me breezed right through. I thought to myself, “This is going to be easy.”

The border agent greeted me, “Hello. Bonjour.”

I pulled out my blue passport, and his mannerisms completely changed.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I plan on going to.. Ganon.. Ganoun.. I’m not sure how to pronounce the city’s name.”

“Gananoque?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s it.”

He then proceeded to ask me about arrests, alcohol, or if I had anything in my trunk. Since I was driving a rental, the car was fairly empty.

“Have fun!” he said as he waved me into the country.

The first few signs were of the speed limit (conveniently converted from miles into kilometers). I then followed my iPhone directions to Gananoque.

While there, I ate at a restaurant and checked out a local park. See the end of this post for some pics.

Here are some observations I made about my brief stint into Ontario, Canada:

• A lot of people around me spoke French.
• There were a lot of Canada flags everywhere.
• The town of Gananoque had a drugstore that would have put Walgreens to shame.
• A lot of young people walk around unaccompanied.
• Their stores have absolutely no liquor.
• Canadians drive very fast! I wasn’t about to speed on their highways.

Okay, here are some pics (see the rest at my Flickr account):

Canadian Flag From a Restaurant - Gananoque

Confederation Park - Gananoque

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Chantix Diaries 3

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

Chantix gives you some weird dreams. Here’s some of the dreams I’ve had recently.

Preparing for… What?

I was in a town square. We were all eating lunch, shopping, and just going about our business. Music was playing, people were talking on their cell phones, and conversing with each other.

In the distance, I could hear this massive roar. Everybody stopped what they were doing. It was absolute and complete silence, with the exception of the roar.

In the sky appeared hundreds of slow-moving CH-47 (Chinook) helicopters carrying what looked like a HMMWV (Hummers). In the back of the helicopter, the ramp was open, and you could see all of the soldiers inside.

The first wave passed, and people started talking about what just happened.

“They’re going to bomb something.” I heard one say.

“Probably Iran.” Another replied.

People soon forgot about the huge show of force, and continued with what they were doing before.

Then a second wave of Black Hawks followed, where we could see Soldiers and a machine gun pointing out. There were hundreds of Black Hawks as well, slowly passing by.

Again, the crowd was completely silent, just marveling at the overwhelming show of force.

“What’s going on?” I could hear one ask.

The second wave disappeared from sight, and I woke up.

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iPhone to the Rescue - Forever Sharp Knives

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

I was in Sam’s club when I stumbled across a guy doing a demo of Forever Sharp Knives.

He was demonstrating how one of the knives could cut easily through fresh bread, a ripe tomato, and even a hammer.

He asked the audience how much we could expect the knives to cost. Some lady chimed in, “38 dollars.”

“Yup.” he replied anxiously.

He continued, “But since you are special Sam’s Club customers, you get a second knife absolutely free!”

At this point, he started naming all of the extras that people would get. Then he dropped a bombshell.

“But wait, since you’ve all listened so patiently to me, I’ve got a special incentive to give you from the manufacturer. A third knife!”

At this point, I whipped out my iPhone and Googled “forever sharp knives”. I saw that this was not indeed a “special incentive” for just “Sam’s Club” customers. This was the same deal that could be purchased online without listening to some jackass speak.

I immediately walked away, shaking my head and smirking.

On another note, I picked up a shredder today and used my iPhone to check out the reviews on Amazon. It turned out Amazon.com was slightly cheaper, but I picked up the shredder anyways. Go iPhone!

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Chantix Diaries 2

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

Chantix gives you some weird dreams. Here’s some of the dreams I’ve had recently.

The Twisted Tornado

I was on the porch. My sister was loading her baby in a giant red ford pick-up.

We were in a valley, and I saw two twisters approach near eachother. One was rather large.

I told my sister, “if you’re going to leave, then get on with it.”

The larger twister went past us without any incident.

The smaller one was really dinky looking, and some black guy ran out of our house with a broom and approached it. He began chasing the twister away from my sister (with the broom) and around the back of the house.

I went to the porch in the back, and watched the twister slowly stop spinning. It turned out it was a giant plastic cup as it slowed.

The Late Show

This one was truly lucid. I was dreaming and thought, let’s do one with Conan O’Brien.

Conan O’Brien is in a boat, and I’m in it. He says, “Let’s see if we can do two impromptu performances while on this boat.”

He starts going off on a tangent, which I can’t really recall. I then ask, “Okay, how about the second?”

He said, sorry, that’s all you get. So I jumped off the boat and made the quick swim to the shore. I could hear them laughing at me on the boat.

I climbed out of the river soaking wet, and I still had on my heavy black shoes.

Traveling the Clothes-line

I’m in some kind of high-rise apartment. The other apartment buildings were very close, and all the colors were of a pastel hue of peach and pink. A lady was standing next to me as people walked by the light-red cobblestone sidewalk below.

“How about that one?” she would ask, pointing at a young girl.

“She’s cute, but way too young.” I would reply.

“And that one?”

It turned out there were clothes-lines everywhere. Or at least that’s what they looked like. And hear goes a girl riding the line by by some kind of repel hook. She was just sailing along, getting from point a to point b.

I was awed by the site, and then I woke up.

The Performance

I’m in some kind of indoor performance area. It was Lord of the Rings, and you could walk to various rooms and see different aspects of the performance.

Some of the girls were getting hot, and began removing layers of clothing. However, other girls would get jealous, and try to catch up. Eventually all clothes were off.

I soon left that part of the performance for a different area. I caught up with a family, who had a van. They had used their van to hold up some kind of tent so they could eat.

The last thing I remember about the dream is that a pizza box had fallen off the top of their vehicle. I attempted to place the pizza box back on top, and was reaching when I woke up.

The Heist

I’m about to leave town.

A lady explains the road out. You have to travel through the mountains on this very high-altitude road.

She told me that one time a very rough storm was coming in. As the road took her above the clouds, she could see the storm pummeling the people below it. She pulled to the side to marvel at it, as did others.

As the road descended, she knew she would soon be in the storm. She said it was the scariest thing she ever saw in her life.

I stop listening to the lady and began to get into my car to leave town. I just have to pass through a security checkpoint.

I’m about to enter some kind of secure zone, and I have to prepare myself to get ready to enter. I come to a gate and park. Nobody is behind me, so I decide it’s a good time to gather everything I need. Eventually cars are starting to line up behind me, some growing rather impatient. I’m almost done, and the last thing I need to do is check my tires.

In my haste, I drop my wallet and cigarettes on the ground, but I decide to finish checking my tires first.

A kid (let’s call him Alex) walking buy seizes this opportunity and picks up my wallet and cigarettes from the ground and begins to walk off. He says to a lady near me (also preparing), “How are you doing?”

The lady sees the theft, and as the kid walks off, she says, “He has your things.”

I begin chase, and just as I’m about to catch him, he throws the items to his younger brother, who is much faster. Both pick up speed, and I yell out, “You can have the cigarettes. Just give me my wallet!”

Alex throws the wallet to the ground, and I run to go pick it up.

I open the wallet, and the wallet’s contents are all fake (kind of like the movie Catch Me If You Can).

I resume chasing Alex and his brother, and I finally catch up with the younger brother. I grab his shoulder, and he hands me a paper bag with something wrapped up in it.

It looks like a Cheeseburger, and he says to me, “Eat this.”

We walk into an establishment, and he puts on a black mask. I can see Alex also wearing a black mask, ready to initiate havok on the employees.

As this moment, I realize I’m part of a larger conspiracy. I was baited into following these kids, and now I was on camera eating a burger as if I was part of their crew.

Then I woke up.

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Finally Got an iPhone

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

I woke up around 4:30am to drop a friend off at her car.

I was tired. I was cranky. But I wanted an iPhone.

I headed over to our Apple Store in Huntsville, and began waiting in line.

I was about number thirty, so getting an iPhone was almost assured. It was just a matter of waiting.

And waiting. And even more waiting.

As the store opened at 8am, the employees ran through the crowd, handing out water and high-fives. They were excited.

However, the line was moving at a snail’s pace. Then the line stopped moving.

The manager came out and explained, “We’re having activation issues with ATT. As soon as they are fixed, we’ll allow more people in.”

Luckily the weather was overcast, but eventually around 10am, the sun peeked out.

More water was handed out, and some of the employees started handing out snacks.

I was about number two in line at this point, with the sun directly over me. I laid down on the hot concrete and closed my eyes praying for relief.

“We can take two more.” the lady at the door said.

As I walked into the air-conditioned store, I gave the door lady a huge hug.

While in the store, there was more waiting.

“Feel free to surf the net guy.” one of the employees told me. I was so tired that I couldn’t even stare at a computer.

After about 45 minutes of waiting inside the store, it was finally my turn to get an iPhone. An employee walked me through the application process, and about thirty minutes later my iPhone was activated.

Unfortunately it wasn’t ready for calling yet since the iTunes store was down and the iPhone needed to be registered with Apple.

I finally walked out of the store about 11:45am, about 7 hours after I began waiting in line.

As soon as I made it home, I crashed. And when I woke up, the iTunes store was back up. I then proceeded to import my contacts and make some of my first ever text messages.

I don’t know if I’ll ever wait in line for a phone again, but having the iPhone is a wonderful luxury.

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Chantix Diaries 1

Posted by Ronald Huereca  

Chantix gives you some weird dreams. Here’s some of the dreams I’ve had recently.

The Wakeup Call

This dream consisted of me on my apartment balcony looking out to the passing cars below.

I witnessed a white car parking, with an attractive woman getting out.

She looked at me, and in a soft, but powerful tone, said, “Come here.”

I immediately woke up. The voice had been so powerful and lifelike that I had to get up and see if anybody was in my apartment.

The Aggressive Kid

I was playing some kind of ball sport. Probably kickball.

I remember sliding on the grass, reaching for this ball that was just within reach.

Out of nowhere, this kid in the stands comes and kicks the ball away from me.

I grab the kid by his white-collared shirt, pull him towards me, and get in his face.

“I just want you to know what you did was very f**ng rude. Don’t you ever do that again. Do you understand me?”

The kid’s face turned sad, but he expressed understanding.

I knew somewhere his mom was watching, so I was curious how she would feel about me scolding her son.

But the kid understood, and went back to sit down.

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